The Lazy Person’s Guide to Power Outages

Power’s out. It’s annoying. You don’t want to be a doomsday prepper, and you’re not about to drop thousands on a generator you’ll never figure out how to use. You just want to be slightly less miserable the next time your neighborhood goes dark and the Wi-Fi disappears into the void.

This guide is for the rest of us: the practical, the tired, and the “I’ll deal with it when it happens” crowd.

Accept it: this will happen again

You don’t have to like it. But power outages aren’t rare anymore – they’re pretty normal. Ice storms, heat waves, overwhelmed infrastructure, snakes with death wishes…there are about 947 ways the grid can crap out on you.

So no, you don’t have to turn your guest room into a bunker. But pretending it’ll never happen again is just setting yourself up to be cold, bored, and hangry at 2 a.m. with a dead phone and no snacks.

Meet the power outage MVPs

These are the basics. No bins, no bug-out bags, just a few things you’ll be very glad to have on hand.

• Battery-powered lanterns (not candles): They’re brighter, safer, and you don’t have to hover over them like a Victorian ghost. Bonus: your house won’t smell like “scented wax panic.” unless you’re into that kind of thing.
• Charged battery banks: Keep a couple charged and stashed in a drawer. Rotate them once a season if you’re feeling fancy. Now you can at least doomscroll until your signal dies.
• Shelf-stable snacks: You’re not stockpiling military rations. You’re putting granola bars, trail mix, and peanut butter where you can find them without cursing. That’s it. That’s the bar here that we oughta be meeting.
• Water stash: You need it more than you think, even if your tap still runs. Power outages mess with municipal water sometimes, and you’ll want it for drinking, brushing teeth, and emergency ramen.
• Manual can opener: Don’t be the person staring at 12 cans of food with no way to open them. It’s a low-effort insurance policy against chaos.

Comfort is survival too, y’know

Sure, the fridge is off. But also…it’s dark, your kids are whining, and you can’t remember your own Wi-Fi password let alone how to entertain yourself without electricity.

• Download something now: Podcasts, playlists, dumb shows you secretly love! Whatever keeps you distracted. Download it while your battery’s at 100%, not 2%.
• Blankets and warm clothes: In the winter, you’re not trying to survive the Arctic. You’re trying to not be freezing in your living room. Have a cozy stash ready. You deserve it.
• Boil water = coffee, ramen, and morale: If you have a camp stove or even a way to heat water without the grid (hello, car kettle), you’re way ahead. Instant coffee might not taste good, but may possible taste like hope and happiness during a rough period of time.

Powerless doesn’t mean helpless

You don’t need a whole-house battery backup system or a color-coded prepper spreadsheet. But a little bit of effort now means a whole lot less suffering later.

Future You will thank you. Current You just has to throw a few things in a drawer and stop pretending this isn’t going to happen again next month.

3 Takeaways

1. Toss two battery banks into a drawer and charge them.

2. Add “lantern” and “shelf-stable snacks I’ll actually eat” to your next grocery list.

3. Download a comfort show or podcast onto your phone or laptop before your internet ghosts you.

Feature image courtesy Pied Piper/Pexels